In His Memory: Lessons from my Father's Battle

This is a guest post by Kiana Jones. Kiana’s father Sammie Jones was diagnosed with kidney cancer and passed away in 2024.

My father, Sammie Jones, was more than a cancer patient; he was a loving husband, father, and grandfather who wanted to live and fight to be with his family. My dad was a farmer for 51 years and a lover of hunting, fishing, and spinning records as “DJ Hunter.” He was a devoted husband, father, and grandfather whose laughter and kindness lit up every room.

On November 21, 2021, my father was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Thankfully, it was caught early, and he began radiation therapy immediately. After completing treatment in 2022, he believed the cancer was gone. However, during his annual check-up in May 2024, we discovered it had returned. Around the same time, a spot was detected on his right kidney, delaying further radiation. In July, he was diagnosed with kidney cancer, and his doctor at University of Mississippi Medical Center recommended surgery to remove the kidney and begin chemotherapy. Unfortunately, and despite us advocating for it, the surgery didn’t happen.

Sadly, his health declined rapidly and by October 2024 he lost mobility in his legs, and further tests revealed the cancer had spread to his left kidney, spinal cord, lungs, and ribs, making surgery too risky at that point. In the ICU, my father battled fluid on his lungs, breathing difficulties, and kidney failure. He was placed on a ventilator, oxygen, and dialysis. On November 21, 2024, exactly three years after his initial diagnosis, he passed away.

Going through this process, especially knowing it would eventually lead to saying goodbye, taught me so much about love, resilience, and the importance of being present.

One of the key things we learned was how vital it is to cherish every moment, no matter how small. Even in the midst of challenges, there were moments of connection and joy that became deeply meaningful.

For our family, this experience was both heartbreaking and unifying. We leaned on each other in ways we hadn’t before, finding strength in shared memories and mutual support. Practical help from friends and extended family—like meals, errands, or simply sitting with us—was invaluable. Spiritually, we found comfort in reflecting on his life and the legacy he left behind. Rituals, whether religious or personal, helped us process our grief and celebrate his memory.

Cherish the moments that matter, no matter how small

For anyone facing something similar, I would want them to know that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed, scared, or uncertain—those emotions are natural. What matters most is taking things one step at a time and remembering that you don’t have to go through it alone. Lean on your support system, whether it’s family, friends, or even support groups, and don’t hesitate to ask for help when you need it.

Advocating for yourself or your loved one is crucial. Stay informed, ask questions, and trust your instincts when it comes to decisions about care and treatment. If something doesn’t feel right, seek a second opinion or push for clarity.

Also, cherish the moments that matter, no matter how small. Even in difficult times, there can be opportunities for connection, laughter, and love, and those moments can provide strength.

Finally, self-compassion is vital. It’s easy to feel like you should have all the answers or do everything perfectly, but you’re human, and it’s okay to take breaks, feel vulnerable, and lean into the process of healing and coping. You’re stronger than you know, and there’s a community of people ready to support you.